i can't bear

I'm eager to have love, but i can't bear it. I will not know how to tell the truth to my beloved--my parents, on the other hand, if i really can find a real lover. I should not think so much, because I'm a weaker and I have no effect on so many things, such great pressure. As one of my friend once warned me, you can't find a one who can accompany with you and those who may be like handsome, thin ones will look down upon you; you can't find such a person to make your love perfect and have a result, so you have to get married which can do sth in harmony with your situations.

Charles, you are the only one who read my blog and go into my feelings and in the family, I only can ask you for the help. What can I do? I will be crazy, and I can't bear everything. I can't satisfy myself, also, I can't satisfy my parents. I still remember you told me---you can understand and tolerate all, but parents is the block.

When I see they can have a good time, I also look forward to these splendid days with love, smile and sweet.

Today I went to the cinema to enjoy the film---Casino Royal. When I sat alone on the seat, I dreamt of having someone who loves me could sit here having fun with me together.( You should know who it is, yes, it's YUN)

You read my passage -- A Story From the Musician Guozi. In this article, I mentioned two names in it, WANG YUN and GUO XIANG. I don't know if you have found them.Actually, I guess you haven't.But I denied G later, that's just a dream, therefore, I'll never think about this person more-- I just want to treat as a real friend or a little one. Maybe I still remember YUN, but I also hope myself I can make everything become the past, which, I think, is a good result for me. I'm not sure Y's feelings. I guess the answer is NO.

So, I can't bear everything. What happened to me? What should I do next? If I will change my work, where should I can go next? Can you tell me?